


Turn my grief to grace

by Franc1s



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Angst, F/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2019-10-24 23:47:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17713985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Franc1s/pseuds/Franc1s
Summary: Some time had passed from the revelation day and while Chloe is trying to figure out her new reality Lucifer gets to live on with his shattered dreams, when someone new shows up and things get even more complicated





	1. Fill this empty space

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fanfiction and you might probably have read this kind of notes thousand times but I presume that I also should apologize in advance for any mistake as I'm not English mother tongue and I have no beta readers so.... be kind :) hope you'll like it I have this idea in mind and I hope that I'll be able to give you what it feels like in my head. Title and chapters titles credits goes to Kate Havnevik song "Grace". Thank you for reading

It's been 6 months without him, 180 days without his jokes and innuendos, 24 weeks with no rolling eyes, no unconventional manners to complain about... No laughs, no smiles, no stealing glances, no music...

As soon as the truth was unfold she went into denial mode and just couldn't bear it, not like that.. being shot by her ex fiance, finding out who he really was, and more humanly being thrown into a reality in which she was not loved and wanted for real but she was just a mean to an end..

all those spoken words all that wasted moments trying to fool herself with feelings that were unreal... unreal for them both..

And then there was him...

it was too much to take, having to look into her daughter face trying to find the best way to tell her that both her mother and father fiances were death without saying that hers killed the other. She didn't deserve that, she was so young and already facing the consequences of her failed relationship with her father, she couldn't let her in through this new reality where heaven and hell, Devil and demons, immortals and Angels were real... she was just a kid  too young for this, too pure to face it.

She kept going like that for weeks, waking up, going through the motions with no aim, no sense, no joy... life was easier this way but still so desperately empty that soon she had to realize that she couldn't make it anymore.

It was Saturday, Trixie was at Dan's and she was alone at home with nothing to do other than trying to keep her feelings silently closed in the drawer that she shut locked months ago... ignoring everything that have passed in the last three years and still trying to avoid the truth,...

suddenly she decideded it was time to give up that fake normality and left...

she wore tight black jeans a white blouse and her leather  jacket, her hair were floating in golden waves over her shoulder and a light make up was on her eyes and her mouth. She had to see him and talk to him she wanted to look into his eyes and find out that it was true all true just like she kept saying that day at the warehouse. During the last months she came to realize that despite the odd truth in her heart he was still the same man and she still had feelings for him. She quickly had to admitted to herself that the power of her feelings was too strong to keep on hold waiting just to see it disappear knowing that it wasn't going to happen any time soon or maybe any time ever.

  
Among all the moments she could choose to go and talk to him she picked up maybe the worst... Saturday night the club was packed people were dancing and singing loudly all over. Once she got in she started scanning the place around looking for him, standing at the top of the stairs that were leading to the bar made the task easier, it didn't take her too long to spot him standing in a dark corner by the bar with an elbow on the counter and a drink in his hand, his legs crossed in a relaxed position. She couldn't see his face but he clearly had his head bend slightly on one side and kept looking at the ground, he seemed far away from the place just as if he was physically there but not as he used to. She remembered coming to Lux sometimes looking at the crowd clapping and dancing around him. When he was on the dance floor his presence filled the room with charms and joy, she wouldn't had never said that to him, but she could stay hours looking at him like that, he was so beautiful and full of life her feelings were so mixed up at that time and she still had a long way through the revelation road... then the nights when the place was quiet he used to sit at the piano in the middle of the dance floor singing and playing his favourite tunes and the people were just silently listening in awe.

She could see all the women and men wanting him, aiming to follow him eventually upstairs to be choosen by him, she could see herself doing the same and eventually giving up to the awfull thought of being just another one in line...


	2. I feel the cold

She started walking towards him but after  three steps she froze. There was a young woman in a long black dress beside him moving lasciviously , she was everything that she wasn't, sexy and dishinibited, confident and fearless, or at least that's what she thought briefly looking at herself. She couldn't see his face from the angle she was standing but it was clear that he wasn't moving, she could only see his too familiar onyx ring holding his drink but the rest of his shape was in the dark.

  
Thinking twice she didn't know why she was watching the scene just like it was something out of ordinary, she'd seen so many women throwing at his feet during the years that it became almost normal, and even when she realized that she had feelings for him it wasn't making her jelous because she came to know him long enough to understand that they didn't mean anything to him.  
So... watching them now shouldn't have been any different... but it was, and she couldn't understand why.  Was she different? Or the fact that she knew changed even that idea of him?

Then she realized that it was her, the way she moved around him, caressing his foreharm with her red nails fingers arching her back and putting her chin up to catch his attention, her smile, the way she  was talking to him it was... familiar, like something was running between them since long time, she was comfortable around him like an old time friend, companion, lover... she felt her hearth ache like something was missing and all of a sudden felt out of place when the woman with the black dress and high heels moved to kiss him...

  
Suddenly her chest was exploding, her eyes started to feel warm and all that she could do was climb back that 3 steps and run out aiming for fresh air. She jumped into her car and quickly started the engine. Her head was running as much as she was, from that place, from him, from that unspoken feelings that now felt so damn wrong. He was a celestial being, the devil but still an archangel what was she thinking she kept telling herself, she should have looked so small in front of him, just an ordinary human to play with, a blink of an eye in his never-ending existence, was it fear that made her brain go into that direction?she couldn't name it but she started wondering if all the time they spent together was just a temporary diversion, an amusement to fight against the boredom of the immortal life.

Maybe he did the same thousand times in his existence going to earth meeting someone and become closer until he revealed himself and everything ended like that, and maybe he really was displeased for a while till everything  was forgotten and he could start all over again. Chloe didn't know how she managed to drive safely back home, all that she knew while she lied in her bed crying herself out, was that the cold she felt inside was going to change her and that nothing would ever be the same.

 

_On the same night from a different angle..._

He was standing with his back on a the wall, drinking his third or maybe fourth or "who gives a damnth glass!", he thought "I'm not going to die for liver cirrhosis anyway". He was looking around with dark eyes, no one was approaching him anymore, they tried months ago when he showed up after a long self distruction session spent in his penthouse that lasted almost a month, but his postures, his gaze said clearly "stay away". There was only one person that was around him and that surprisingly found him after eons without seeing each other right after Maze disappeared and right after... well... after that cursed day at the warehouse...

Eve..

She came looking for him few weeks after Cain had died but she showed no hard feelings and wasn't blaming Lucifer for the death of her son, she knew that he wanted to die so somehow she was grateful he could end his life and stop carrying the burden of the immortal life.

She was around enough to make clear what she wanted... him... she wanted him and she didn't make any effort to hide it.

They had very little in common except for their carnal activity, or at least this is how it used to be before Chloe for Lucifer.

He hadn't slept with anyone else since the day he involuntarily revealed himself to her and although sometimes the abstinence was killing him, he couldn't picture himself with anyone else other than her.

His dreams were full of kisses and caresses and her light blue eyes full of want and he was more than often waking up panting and breathing hard with the evidence of his physical reaction to his dreams.

When Eve was around it was different than with all the other women that tried to have sex with him in the past months. She was someone that knew how he was before and how he was after the fall and this made him feel like he didn't have to hide from her, there was no risk of rejection or chance she could run away, she already knew who he really was.

But still she was missing who he became with Chloe, how he'd changed and started to care for the people around him, she didn't know that part of him and he was not interested in showing it to her, it was like his and Chloe's secret and even if it was childish to still think about it that way, given the fact that he wasn't any more welcome in Chloe's life, he didn't want to share it with anyone else

Tonight she was different, her moves were smooth and the dress she was wearing didn't leave much to the imagination. She was gorgeous like sex on legs and he could feel how watching her was affecting his body. A part of him wanted to take her right there and put in the act all the rage and broken feelings he had inside and his body was aching for carnal desire so when she moved closer and kissed him he let escape a deep moan of arousal and she took her chance to start caressing him right under his belt hiding her hand from the crowd with her own body.

He was desperate with want he had to forget her to move forward. He took her from her hand and moved quickly inside the elevator and as soon as the door closed he pushed her on the wall searching for the friction he so desperately needed and she allowed him to do what he wanted with her drinking in his needs she moved her hips forward and he made a loud moan. As soon as the door opened he ketp touching and undressing her like crazy until they fell on his sofa and he could use his weight to get more and more friction groaning loudly. He couldn't stop he needed this, so hastly he removed her and his pants and with a quick move he was inside her, "oh yes, yes I need this... I... I can't... please..." and his movements became erratic he was needy and frantic "I can't... I need... aaahh... I can't hold it any... oh... aaaauuhh" and with a loud moan he came inside her without holding her or kissing her.

There were no feelings for her it was just carnal need so as soon as the rush ended he felt cold deep inside. He quickly started to get dressed and moved to the bar without saying a word.

 

Still keeping his back to her he said with bitter flat words "I'm sorry this wasn't right, please leave it won't happen again".

He didn't realize that she was standing right behind until she started to talk "Samael you cannot still be waiting for that human to come around it's clear that she doesn't want to".

And with that she put an hand on his shoulder and her touch felt so wrong to him, he didn't want to be touched by anyone else than.. her..

But she kept talking, "if she wanted to see you she'd already be here, you know what humans think about you why should she be different?"

He didn't move and said

"please leave"

but she kept saying "Sam you know I'm right they think you're a monster and this is what she thinks about you otherwise she would be here!"

This time he shouted

"I've said leave!"

And with that she went, leaving him still standing at the bar with a bitter line on his mouth and a deep inconsolable sorrow in his eyes.


	3. Nothing is like it was

_Few weeks later_...

"I don't know Ella, I've tried everything and she keeps behaving like everything is fine but I can tell that it's not"

Dan was standing in Ella's lab during his coffee break with a distressed look on his face.

"This year has been... tough for all of us, I... sometimes you know, I'd like to hide myself from the rest of the world and grief what I'd lost but..."

he was looking at the ground almost talking to himself but Ella was there and she wasn't the kind to step back when someone was needing comfort, so she gently placed a hand on his and whispered with a sad smile

"I know"...

and he kept going

"...but I have a child and I can't, I owe Trixie the chance to have a normal childhood I can't let myself go and... and I know that Charlotte wouldn't want me to..." he had to pause as his voice was turning husky and emotions were starting to overwhelm him.

Ella knew how much he had suffered for Charlotte's death, and how much trying to conceal that feelings and keep hold of himself for his child was taking its toll on him.

  
"I know I have to be strong and I'm trying to, but sometimes I feel the need to allow myself to be weak and feel my sorrow just the way it should be, Chloe, instead, had put on a normality mask that is not normal at all. She seems... Off... and I bet that years ago if someone had told me that I would have missed Lucifer I would had send him to see a good doctor... ".  
He said that with a small smile on his face, while looking at his ex wife through the lab's window with a worried look in his eyes.

  
"Why don't we try to contact him again, it's been a while since the last time we tried to speak with Lucifer, maybe now things are different".  
But Dan was hopelessly shaking his head, "mmmhhh I don't believe so, last time I tried he said he didn't want to make Chloe feel uncomfortable with his presence around and even when I've asked him to go out for a drink and a chat with me he said, with a painful tone, that for sure she wouldn't had been happy knowing that he was hanging around with the father of her child".

  
Ella took a look at Chloe and said without taking off her eyes from her "I know he said something like this to me too a couple of times and it just left me speechless remembering how closed they used to be.  
I know that Chloe was shocked for what happened with Pierce but I'm sure that whatever had come between them to make them drift apart it has to be really big."  
Then she paused thinking for a while and said "Hey maybe I should try to bring her out with me and Linda you know how good is the doctor, she's capable to make people talk without knowing it",  
"yeah why not? You should try maybe she would open herself up with you and speak",  
"ok I'll go and talk to her, I'll fill you in later" and with that she left the room and went to speak with Chloe.

"Hi Chlo' how are you doin'?"  
"I'm fine thanks" she replied blankly without taking off her eyes from the computer screen.  
"I was thinking, you know, it's been a while since we had a nice evening together, what do you think if we go out tomorrow night? I mean just you, me and Linda? It'll be nice to chat a little, have a drink and relax together, or we can have dinner if you like and stay at my place and order some take outs or... "...

  
"I'm sorry I can't I'm busy!" She cut off with no joy

  
Ella suddenly felt out of words and almost in a whisper said "well... hmmm so.. maybe we can make it for another day",  
"yeah maybe..." she replied still looking at the screen... and so she left with a baffled feeling.

Later that night Dan called Ella "Hi El sorry for calling so late but I saw that you succeed with your plan congratulations!"  
"Hi Dan it's ok I'm still up, but what are you talking about?",  
There was a silence on the line "I just got a call from Chloe asking if I could take Trixie with me tomorrow, she said she has something to do and I thought it was with you.." he said with a perplexed tone.

  
"Well no, she said that she was busy and was quite evasive in her answer, so I've decided it was useless to insist, she even didn't look at me while I was speaking actually. I was right now thinking about her behaviour. There is something wrong, but like really really wrong and I don't know how to help her", she said with a frown.

Dan was silent on the line and Ella kept going "ehi are you still there?"  
"Yes yes sorry I was just thinking. I'm worried Ella we might not be together anymore but she's my friend and the mother of my child, I have to do something and I'm not going to wait any longer",  
"What do you mean, what do you wanna do?"  
"I'm going to follow her so please don't even try to stop me because..."  
"I'm coming with you!" She said without hesitate.  
"W.. What?.. oh well ok I really need some help actually it's already hard to spy on my ex wife and it woukd be even harder if I had to do it by myself. Thank you for your offer I'll leave Trixie with my parents and try to sneak out as as soon as she falls asleep so she won't say to Chloe that I went out"  
"It's ok you don't have to thank me she's my friend too".  
After few more arrangements they hung up with the plan to discuss more details the morning after at work.  

The day after they were out of Chloe's house at 9 o'clock waiting in the car hidden in a dark spot of the street. As soon as they saw her going out they started following her. The drive lasted almost 30 minutes and ended in an abbandoned industrial estate  quite far from downtown.  
She parked by an old factory wall and climbed out of the car to stop by the corner of the building.

  
"What it she doing?" Said Ella with a low voice.  
"I don't know but I don't like it" he answered in a whisper.

  
Then suddenly two men coming from nowhere approached her.  
At first Dan wanted to go to her because he thought that she was in danger but Ella stopped him when she saw that Chloe was behaving friendly with them.

"What  is she doing here with them I don't understand?" He asked.  
"maybe she is dating one of them, or maybe they're just friends" she said looking clueless.  
"Ella if you want to meet a friend you don't go out on a desert street at night like you're hiding something, and if you are a woman like Chloe and, last but not least, a cop you don't hang around with people like these, have you seen their faces? I don't like them they look suspicious".

  
They saw her chatting briefly and shaking hands like some agreement was made and then she left just like she came. They drove back in silence with less informations than before trying to figure out what was going on.

  
"That's enough, I'm going to talk to Chloe tomorrow I have to know what's up with her and these people". He said abruptly.  
"you can't tell her that we saw her she will never trust us again we have to keep calm Dan and try to win her trust back she's the one that has to open up with us we cannot force her to speak", Dan was nodding but still feeling lost "I know you're right but I'm worried she might be involved in something dangerous".

Few days later Chloe went to speak with him "Hi Dan, I need to talk to you do you have a moment?"  
"Yes of course you know you can tell me whatever you want we are still friend afterall".  
"Well... ehm... Yes... I know that but I just need you  to take Trixie with you for few days I have to go out of town".

"Chloe what's going on where do you have to go? Please talk to me".

"Dan if you really are my friend just do me the favour to take Trixie for few days and don't ask anything else! It's nothing to worry about I just have some things to sort out and I'll be back by Friday" She said firmly without giving him the chance to reply.

"ok I just hope that you're not doing anything you might regret",

"I'll be fine you don't have to worry it's just for a couple of days" she said looking at the ground and then she left.

Friday morning Dan texted her to know at what time she was back home but she didn't reply. By noon he tried to call her but her phone was off. On Saturday he called Ella and Linda and they said that maybe she would have been back by the end of the day but eventually she didn't. On Sunday morning worried like crazy he went to meet the only person he thought could help.

Lucifer was deeply sleeping he had another endless drinking night and when the sleep came it was almost dawn, but his rest was never lasting enough and as the light of the day came through the large windows of his house he felt reality coming back and thought

"another useless day"...

his eyes were still closed but he could feel that the bed was slightly bend on one side like someone was sitting on it. First thing he thought was "oh no Eve again! why is she still around why doesn't she go to spend her immortal life in some exotic island wandering around exotic men with a flower necklace?".

But when he slightly opened his eyes he surprisingly found Dan sitting on his bed and looking at him with deep black rings around his eyes

"What are you doing here? And what happened to yourself you look dreadful?! If you're looking for company I'm sorry I'm not in the mood and you're not my kind by the way nothing personal but..."

and while he was still talking Dan abruptly said

"Lucifer Chloe is missing!"

And he stopped breathing...


	4. This feels so unreal

There are moments in someone's life when everything around just stops turning, words are deaf, eyes are blind, all that is left is that huge fiery wave that starts from your stomach and goes right to your throat taking away your breath and capability to think...,

in that single moment,...

you just stop existing...

He was looking at the space in front of him slowly sitting with his back on the headboard...

..."missing"... He said...

"Yeah she's missing, she said she had some stuff to sort out and had to leave for few days but she was meant to be back by Friday and she's not" said Dan still trying to understand if he really was listening to him...

..."back by Friday"... He repeated

"Ok man, can you just stop repeating everything that I say and try to help me??" He said in frustration

"listen, I don't know what happened between you two but I have a daughter that keeps asking for her mother and I'm out of excuses. She's been wierd since Pierce died and lately she has been acting more and more strangely. I know she's been hiding something and I'm afraid that she might had got herself caught up in some dangerous matters".

Lucifer was slowly processing all the information that all of a sudden had been thrown at him making real his biggest fear. She got herself in danger and he hadn't been there to save her.

Suddenly all his nightmares of rejection disappeared replaced by the dreadful sensation that something bad might had happened to her.

"...so... so you're saying that you suspected she was in trouble and you didn't do anything to avoid this to happen? How... how could you let her go without asking we're she was heading? Did you try to call her? Maybe Ella or Linda know something they are quite closed or at least they used to be, I actually don't know much about her life now... I... is.. is she seeing someone?"

He said trying to ignore how just the idea made his hearth ache...

"Maybe..." he continued voice trambling 

..."maybe some jerk took her with him who knows where and now she's..."

"Lucifer stop!" Dan yelled at him

"Off course I tried to call her but her mobile is off, and her friends don't know much about it, I'm really not so well informed about her romantic life at the moment but she hasn't been the portrait of happiness lately, so, I presume, that if she's dating someone she should be content enough with her life to show the rest of the world. Instead she's been acting like she's been living in a big bubble of sorrow and pain"...

His voice went low..

"and... and I know that I should have stopped her but you know how stubborn she is and how can she easily hide behind her mother and detective duties if she wants to avoid to discuss her feelings".. .

So that was it, she's been in pain all this time and the only explanation for that was him.

He really had broken her eventually, He thought, how could this had been any different, all the humans that saw his face were left facing the worst terryfing nightmares.

She wasn't meant to see his horror visage she was the most beautiful and kind person on earth and should live in the light with love not in that dark place that even a quick glance at his existence could bring.

Hastly he realized that it was no time to get stock in such kind of thought he had to move, pull himself together and do something. All the seconds he was spending still thinking was a moment stolen from the time he could use looking for her.

"We'll find her" he said with a firm voice.

******

On the way to the precinct Dan filled in Lucifer with all that he knew, and told him about the night that they saw her meeting that fellows and making some kind of agreement. There was  for sure a connection between that and her disappearance.

The plan was to get the security camera footage from the streets sourrounding Chloe's house and find at least a lead for which direction she took the night she left. But being granted quickly with permission to access that files wasn't an easy task not even for the LAPD so Lucifer had to call in some favours and within a couple of hours they found themselves sitting in the meeting room at the precinct looking at the videos with Ella and Linda. 

"See this is her car she left at 9 in the evening and if you match this video with the one from the bank in downtown you can see that she's defenetly gone North. Ella do we have some news about the phone tracking? We cannot have a full idea without it"

Dan was pointing at the screen while talking to a too quite odiens, waiting for an answer from the forensic scientist.

"Yeah, according to the mobile tracking she defenetly went out of town and it seems that North was where she was heading. The last cells tracking seems to bring us near the Mendocino National Forest Area. So this is narrowing down our research but still that area is huge the only way to find something should be to fly over the forest to look for some signs of life as the place is quite wild, but I don't see how we could manage to do that".

And with that Lucifer stood abruptly and said

"I'm going!"

But Dan stopped him and said "I'll go with you four eyes are better than two".

"No way Daniel I don't need you to slow me down you know that I have my... ehm... own methods... and beside you have your spawn to be with she's already in distress for the lack of her mother, you wouldn't give her another reason to be sad and disappear you too!"

"But how could you scour all that area by yourself It'd be already hard if we were together but alone is almost impossible"

"You need to trust me on this Daniel I know what I'm doing"

And then Linda came to rescue and said "Dan let him go alone I know for sure that he knows what he's doing".

Dan frowned and said "Ok I... I guess you're right about Trixie she needs me here, it wouldn't be sensible to leave her now but please don't do anything reckless and we'll be in contact all the way I need to know if you find something please".

"I will" And with that he left.

******

He drove all the way around to the north as fast as he could his mind focused on the task. He was going to find her and bring her home then she could disappear from his life again, and everything would be ok because even if he couldn't be with her at least he would live knowing that she was safe.

The idea that something had happened to her was making his hearth twist in pain but he couldn't allow himself now to think about that and loose his focus on the task, her safety was more important than him and his feelings for her.

After a long day driving and as soon as the sun set, he arrived half mile west from the said area and parked his car the closest he could by the forest.

All the time after that day at the warehouse he kept his wings hidden in the other plane and the hate he felt for them was growing more and more each day inside him even if he knew that without them, both him and her would be dead by now.

They were his father unwanted gift, was Chloe the same? Another gift he didn't ask for, another way his father choosed to torture him. No one in all his existrance had looked at him the way she did. He still could remember how they kissed that day before everything went lost. Her soft lips on his, the sweet touch of her hands on his face. The way he felt... The memories of that night hunted him every day and night since, and all that he wanted was just the pain to stop and go back to his useless existance.. go back to the void.. where at least he could stop feeling.. stop hurting..

But now it was time to use his wings again because she needed him and he needed them so he unfolded them and started to fly.

Thankfully the moon was plane and high enough to light the forest otherwise it would have been useless to try at that time of night as the trees were  thick and tall enough to shadow the majority of the territory around.

He flew above rocks, hills, small lakes and waterfalls for about three hours. He wasn't used to fly so much and the lack of exercise forced him to stop and rest on a rock for a while.

Looking at the stars above his mind went studying what were the chances he could find her when there was no sign of human life in miles and no way to track her.

He saw a sharp stone beside where he was sitting and started to play with it in his hand, he thought that if he wasn't immortal that stone would have cut his hand for sure given how sharp it was. So he tried but of course nothing happened the detective wasn't there and the only way he could get cut was if....

So he realized that maybe there was a way to find her, he just had to fly again all the way over the area holding tight the sharp stone in his hand. He would have known if she was near as soon as the stone could harm him. So without hesitate he opened his wings wide and started to fly again holding the small weapon in his hand.

******

For another hour nothing happened and he began to think that even this try was hopeless, but eventually while he was above a small lake surrounded by high rocks,  he saw a small drop of blood coming from his hand and his heart jumped in his chest in a mixture of joy and apprehension.

She was near...

There should have been a place hidden in between the rocks and the trees and the only way to find out was to land and look for it.

So he did, but before he started to move he sent a quick text to Daniel saying,

"I think I've found something".

He placed his phone in his pocket and began walking around the dense woodlands. It didn't take him too long to see a small iron door placed in between more rocks and trees, it looked like the entrance of that hideouts that were used during the first world war in Europe and that were called bunkers.

He moved close to the door and tried again with the stone, it was clear that she was there seeing the blood coming again from the palm of his right hand. As usual he opened the door effortlessly but once inside it took him a while to get used to the dark.

He found himself in a long tunnel followed by another and another and so on, with small bare bulbs hanghin from the low ceiling every now and then. After walking for a while through the narrow corridors that looked all the same he saw another iron door and a light coming from underneath it. There were people talking beyond it. 

A male voice was saying

"Oh came on lady stop insisting I told you already the boss said that for now you cannot leave, you have been useful all this time giving all the information we needed and you've been a nice little corrupted cop so keep behaving and you'll be rewarded".

And than he heard her voice beautiful and clear just like he remembered it.

"Ok let me speak with your boss I still hadn't had the chance to meet him I've told you everything that you needed to know for your drug business now let me see him and then I'll leave".

Lucifer froze, what... what did he hear? Chloe corrupted? She was the most selfless and righteous person he knew, how could this be possible? So this is what he'd done to her?

All the rest of the world was left terrified by his sight but maybe, he thought, maybe she was different in this too.

Perhaps she turned in someone right opposite to what she used to be just after a look at his face. It all felt so unreal and before he could realize there was a sharp pain on his head and everything went black... 


	5. Nothing is like it seems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok don't hate me and read the title... Nothing is like it seems :)

...there were...

There were voices around him...

"What do we have to do with him?"...

His head was aching, his eyelid were heavy...

"Hey, isn't this that millionaire playboy that owns a club in LA downtown? What's his name? Wait... Hey little dirty cop isn't this your partner? What's this a trap? did you try to trick us?"

...More voices...

"What are you doing? And who's this?" Said and unpleasant ruspy male voice 

"I don't know I've found him eavesdropping in the hallway"

And then her voice...

"His name is Lucifer Morningstar"

...Cold as stone...

..Chloe...

He thought.. if he could just open his eyes and look at her... but he was so weak... her closeness made him vulnerable and the blow on his head had been strong enough to knock him out...

And she continued

"he used to work with me but that was long time ago and..." she paused "...and I don't have anything to do with him now, you can do whatever you want with him".   

"...Chloe... What have I done to you?..." he thought

"The boss said that he was likely to come, and said also to use this on him..." said one of the men around.

Suddenly someone was holding his harm.. something felt like a sting of a needle on his skin... and then the darkness overcame him again...

...Next time he woke up he didn't know how long it was since he found the hideout, if it was day or night, but he was feeling numb and still couldn't move... he was lying on the floor...  his mouth was dry... his eyes still tired and itchy, but eventually he managed to open it..

"Hey look that milionare moron is awake!!" Said the ruspy male voice from before..

He was looking at the people gathered around him...

humans... He didn't like their faces...

He was on the floor still aching but now he was looking at them. There were two men closed to him, one with a deep scar on his face was the one with the unpleasant ruspy voice and his visage matched perfectly the way he sounded when he spoke.

Few more were standing at the back with a sick grin on their faces. How much he would have loved to wipe that smirk from that guy's faces, but he was deeply weak and couldn't feel his usual super power strenght.

Suddenly he remembered that maybe Chloe was still there and moved further his head to get a better view of the room.

Even if the men around were blocking the already narrowed view of the surroundings, he was suddenly blown away by the sight of her standing at the furthest corner of the room.

She was leaning with her shoulder on the wall, her harms crossed around her leather jacket , her left leg slightly bend in her tight black jeans and usual boots and her hair pulled in a low ponytail.

She was even more beautiful than he remembered, he was looking at her like a goddess who descended on earth, and suddenly couldn't remember how he survived all this time without seeing her.

But then his eyes fell on her face and his world crashed down.

She was looking at him with loathing and hatred and he felt like the monster he believed he was, worthless and undeserving, how could this be any different he thought...  

"Hey the boss said to keep him alive but didn't say anything about having a little fun with him" said one of the men that was closer to him.

With Chloe there he knew he was as human as they were and even if he was good at fighting and still usually quite strong he was alone and half unconscious...

"Guys what do you think of a little welcome party for this idiot?"

And with that the man kicked him right in the stomach once, twice and three times and he moved to cover himself and curled up in a fetal position.

But then someone was punching his face and another one was hitting him hard on his legs with an iron bar.

All the time they punched and kicked and hit him, he never took his eyes away from her, she was standing there looking at him with cold eyes and he could feel her revultion, he could sense it all and it was hurting him more than any punch or kick he could take.

He remembered his fall... The pain of his own skin burning was excruciating but the sight of the hate in his siblings eyes was unbearable... and he was there again...

All this time spent thinking if eventually she would have accepted him and allow him to be in her life again,

...if she would have understood...

and there she was looking at him like the abomination he was and he knew he deserved this because he was an hideous creature and she... she was so beautiful...

"I'm sorry" he said in a whisper, before beaten and exhausted he lost his senses again...

Falling Into oblivion surprisingly he dreamt... but more than a dream it was the memory of a day spent on the beach with Chloe and her Spawn.  

The kid was playing with the sand while he and Chloe were sitting side by side, their shoulders slightly touching in a pleasant way, looking at each other and chatting about everything.

She was  wearing a white beach suit and her eyes and golden hair were shining at the sunlight. His hearth was making strange things in his chest every time he made her laugh and he was lost in a strange and unknown warm sensation. 

Suddenly the kid got stock climbing a sea rock and while he went to rescue her he injured his hand.

After both him and the kid were safe, Chloe gave a hug to her child and took his hand in hers.

They were sitting on the sand and she was gently cleaning his injury with the first aid kit she got from the nearest bar.

She was so carrying and gentle with him and he remembered thinking that no one had ever been so kind with him in all his existence and he couldn't stop thinking how much he was undeserving and how much she would have been better off without him.

Then suddenly Chloe and the child disappeared and he was alone surrounded only by the sound of the waves and the seagulls that were still flying around, while a big black cloud came shadowing the sun.

He started panicking..

were was she? He didn't want to be alone like he'd been in hell for eons. Centuries of loneliness had passed by with just the echoes of his solitude.

He couldn't stand to be without her again,

"please give her back to me,"

he thought looking and pleading at the sky...

"...fer"

Her voice... were was she?

"Chloe I'm here!" He screamed

"...ucifer"

"Where are you I can't see you" he answered

"Lucifer wake up!"

And slowly he felt his senses come to life, someone was shaking him and even if his body was still hurting, he somehow came back to reality and opened his eyes.

He blinked a couple of times.. and after he was sure that his brain was back working properly he saw her kneeled in front of him with a worry look in her eyes...

was she real?

"...C...Chloe..." He only managed to say... 


	6. So keep me safe

"...C...Chloe..."  
What was she doing here?  
He was slowly regaining consciousness but his mind was still cloudy and he was feeling confused and disorientated.

She was there shaking him with her hand on his shoulder, was she really touching him? Was she real?

"Lucifer you have to leave now!"  
She said assertively.

What was that look in her eyes? She seemed scared and worried.  
 Off course, he thought, she was frightened by him that's why she wanted him to leave

"...but... you...?" He dared to ask

"I'm staying here, you instead have to go, there is not much time left, you have to stand up and leave now!"

He was puzzled she sounded distressed and freighten, was she trying to get rid of him? how could he leave her there?  
But she insisted and still in a low voice said

"Please Lucifer listen to me you have to go stand up and just go".

Her tone now was softer than before but she was still determined that he had to leave. He mindlessly tried to pull himself from the ground putting his weight on the wall but he was still weak after the beating and it took him  some time and effort to fully make it.  
Eventually he managed to stand up and start walking, but as soon as she saw him slightly limping, she went by his side and put his harm around her shoulder and embraced him around his waist to help him moving faster.

Lucifer was confused, was she helping him? Was she touching him again? He was speechless and even in the dangerous situation they were he couldn't ignore the feeling of her harm around his waist.

They steadly started moving through the place around, aiming for the exit, she kept looking over her shoulder to check if someone was behind them, while he silently  put one foot after the other without questioning her request anymore. 

As soon as they reached the exit she left his and hers harm drop and said,

"Now you go and don't come back"

Sensing how she was so resolute in sending him away he was torn between leaving and the feeling that whatever she was doing there it was something dangerous and shady.  
He hesitated with his mouth half open as if he was about to say something. She perceived his uncertainty and whispered again with eyes full of concern,

"Lucifer please go"

He looked down feeling lost.  
Suddenly a loud noise came from the other side of the hall and a man shouted:

"That bitch is helping him to escape"

"Shit!"

She said, and without hesitating she pushed him outside and slammed the door behind them.

"Run!"

She yelled and they both began running through the wood but he was injured and weak and she was much faster than him so after few meters he said breathing hard:

 "Detective you go! I... I can't I'm sorry"

She turned to look at him and without saying anything grabbed his hand and started running again, this time pulling him with her.

They were running through the trees and into the wild forest jumping from rocks and stepping in the boggy and marshy ground.  
Somewhere along the way she stumbled onto a root and while he kneeled to help her they heard that the voices of the men that were chasing them were getting closer. Quickly she stood and started running again her hearth bumping hard in her chest until she suddenly stopped and said:

 "if we keep going this way we won't make it they are faster than us, we have to find a way to trick them"

Then without saying more she took again his hand and started climbing a lumpy hill leaving the path that was marked between the trees. Every few steps he was sliding and she was holding his hand tight and using all her strenght to pull him up.

Eventually they found a big rock on the way and moved to hide behind it sitting on the ground with their back on the rock trying to stay still. After few minutes they heard the men passing by and running towards the main path between the trees.  
When she believed it was safe enough to move again she stood and said:

"we have to keep going and find a place to hide as far from here as we can, we have to change direction again so that they won't predict easily our moves, do you have your mobile with you?",

"No they took it from me with my wallet",  
He was still breathless and more confused than before so without saying anything more he stood again and started walking behind her.

They walked for at least two hours without uttering a single word, every now and then she stopped to guess which way was safer to pursuit and then started walking again.  
After another half an hour without talking she stopped abruptly and said with the uncertainty of someone who doubts whetear it is right to ask or not:

"...I... I belived that... well I thought that you... you could... with your..."

and she made a gesture with her hand pointing at her back...

and he answered

"...fly?"

"..yes".. She answered taking a big breath.

Lucifer was looking at her with a fearful gaze

"I... I can't feel them..."

she kept looking at him like someone that is afraid of asking more than she's allowed, so she swallowed looking at the ground and said

"we... we have to find a place to stay tonight you need to rest you're injured and I'm tired, there's no way we can go out of this wood if we're exhausted".

"Ok"  
He said quietly, and they got back into their awkward silence and started to walk again.

After a while they reached a small lake, there was nothing around no houses and no sign of human life, but as the place was known as a fisherman's place; she thought that maybe there was a storage somewhere to keep the basic fishing tools. Chloe remembered going fishing with her father when she was a kid in a similar place and she remembered that there were these kind of wooden made small storage where the fisherman used yo keep their supply and provisions. It didn't take her too long to spot one of that kind thankfully hidden well enough between the trees to make it hard to be found.

"come" she said gesturing at him.

There was a lock on the door  
"let me handle this"  
he said, and with no effort he opened the door.   
As soon as they entered the place she started scanning the room while he laid with his back on the wall trying to catch his breath and regain some strenght. She  found two deckchairs and placed it in one corner of the room saying  
"Sit here" patting on one of the  sits and he obliged feeling over tired by the long run. There was something strange that was affecting him he knew that  he couldn't feel his wings nor his powers, not even his devil face or burning eyes, but he didn't want to talk about it and scare her more than he thought she already was considering that she was stranded in a small storage with the Devil himself.

Moving around the place looking for something  usefull, Chloe found some water, few energy bars, two backpacks, some fisherman clothes and a first aid kit.  
So she moved to sit beside him and said

"We have to clean your wounds or you might get an infection... can... can you get an infection?"  
She was looking at him with wild eyes

"Actually I don't know much at the moment but you really don't need to do that" he said trying to keep his voice quiete as far as he could.

"Well..." She said "infection or not we have to clean your face and make you look as much normal as we can, we have to rest and leave before dawn dressed up with these clothes so that we can look like an ordinary couple that went fishing. Once we reach the main road we should hitchhike over the first village."

And without waiting for any sign of approval from him she took a tissue drenched with antiseptic and gently started to clean the dry blood off his forehead.  
He was looking at the ground almost ashamed by the situation and stunned by her proximity, he wondered how she could stay so close to him after seeing his other face.  
After she finished with his face she took his hand in hers and began cleaning the big cut that was on the back using a bandage to cover the wound. In the end she pulled up his sleeves to check the damage on his harms. He was covered with black bruises and cuts and she couldn't do more than disinfect the injuries and clean the blood.

He was shivering inside, feeling her care and concern was overwhelming but he kept repeting to himself that he shouldn't read too much in this he was still the Devil and she knew it.  
Chloe was the most selfless and carring person he knew she would have done this with anyone in the same condition.  
Lost in the moment he was recalling all his willpower to hide the thrill of being touched by her and being there with her, she could have left him in the hideout with that men or in the wood when he was slowing her down, but she didn't and instead held his hand and pulled him up on his feet each time he felt on the slippery slope.

Hastily she stopped and remained with her hand on his harm giving him small and almost imperceptible caresses while  looking at his wounded hand.  
 Her eyes were watery and she looked almost absent for few seconds, he didn't know what to say unil she broke the silence and said

"I... I'm sorry for what they have done to you... you weren't meant to be there I... I had to act as if I was on their side otherwise they would have killed us both, our only chance was for me to fake and then set you free as soon as they were asleep".

"...Detective..."

But she cut him of and taking a deep breath said

"Few months ago I got a call from the Captain he said that Carlson, the new lieutenant in charge, was suspected to be involved with the members of some organized crime ring, he said that the only way to bring him down was for me to get involved as a corrupted cop in the organization. In order to win their trust I had to give them some information about the drug market and police investigation, and so I did it. He asked me to keep the operation secret even with my collegues so that I would look convincing in the role. I began meeting them and talk with them and after a while they started to believe me, so I came over here with the aim of meeting their boss, but as soon as I realized that there was no way he was showing up I tried to leave but they didn't let me and then you came and... well you know the rest of the story".

Abruptly she stood and turned giving him her back. She didn't want to show him how fragile and broken she was, being there with him, after all this time, was unexpected and confusing and she couldn't stop herself feeling unease.

He could clearly see that she was exhausted like someone that has been through a long rough and restless time. In his head he kept blaming himself thinking that he was the cause of her pain.

"...Chloe... I thought that..."

But before he could finish she turned and looked with sadness in her eyes

"You thought that I was really working with them?"

She seemed hurt

"...how... how could you..."

She suddenly remembered all that had happened in the last year and who he was and who she was for him.

She remembered how she felt watching him with that woman that night and her eyes dropped on the floor and as soon as she realized he was about to speak she said.

"there's no time for this now we should rest and regain some strenght we have a long way ahead"

And with that she took two plastic covers that were made for fishing and gave it one to him, then she sat on the chair beside him and closed her eyes.

He staid there with the plastic cover in his hand still speechless and confused. He could see the gentle line of her profile in the dark of the room and even thought he wanted so badly to come closer and comfort her, he had to remind to himself that he wasn't allowed to hold or touch her anymore... He was a monster, there were no chances that she would let him come closer, he was lucky enough to share the same air as her now, but he would fix this, he thought, whatever had happened between them he would keep her safe protecting her even with his own life if necessary.

 


	7. I just want to feel your embrace - Part 1

It was still dark and Lucifer was deeply asleep when she woke up, for a moment she stared at him, he looked so peaceful in his sleep so much younger than his everlasting existence.

The bruises on his face remembered what she could portray as one of the worst moment  of her life. Seeing him beaten by that men without being able to protect him had been painfull and unbearable but she recognized that there was no other choice, knowing that any reaction or move would have killed them both.

  
She wanted so badly to move closer and place a hand on his cheek, caress him and show him how much she cared but she couldn't, she had to stay away and keep her mind clear, there was no time for this now. She wanted to talk to him but not now, not when he was in trouble because of her and she had only to focus on keeping him safe and solve this mess.  
  
Besides she didn't want to show too much affection for him, the fear of rejection was too strong to handle. She'd already pushed the idea of being romantically involved with him as soon as she realized that given who he was the perspective of a relationship between them couldn't be something he could trully want.

How could such a powerful and celestial creature think of spending some of his immortal life with just a normal human like her, she thought. She knew that he wanted to have sex with her but it was easy for Chloe to imagine how broken she would have ended up the morning after, when he would've behaved as nothing had happened.  
  
She stood and took two backpacks to use it to carry the water and the few energy bars they found in the storage, afterwards she kneeled beside him and gently whispered

  
"Lucifer wake up"

  
He slowly opened his eyes and greeted her with a warm smile.

  
"Hi" he said with a husky voice

  
"Hi, how are you feeling?" She answered with the same tender smile on her face.

  
"I feel better I guess, it's time to move, is it?"

  
And so he stood moving slowly from his deckchair

  
"Take it you should eat something before we move you have to regain some strenght" she said giving him one energy bar.

  
But he denied her offer  
"No thanks keep it for you I'm ok I don't need it, I feel fine after sleeping I'd rather you eating something you must be hungry"

  
"I already had one and I won't eat yours I want you to regain some energy we have a long walk ahead"

  
"But..."

  
"please Lucifer humour me and take it, I'll feel better if you'll eat something"

  
"Ok..." he said resigned

They silently got dressed with the few clothes they found in the storage, she kept her jeans and boots and wore a baseball hat and a jacket too big for her size but still good enough to make her look like a tourist. He did the same but changed his too stylish shoes for a pair of big rubber boots with a similar hat and jacket as hers. Eventually they used the backpacks to store their clothes and left.  
  
Using a map of the area that Chloe had luckily found in their makeshift shelter they moved through the forest following the direction to the main trunk road.  
As soon as they spot the road she stopped and said

  
"we have to be careful once we'll be out of the woods we'll quickly have to find a ride or we might bump into them, we won't be able to hide in the open street..."

  
"Hmmm.." he hummed mindlessly.

  
"Are you ok? I don't know you look fine but it's like if something is bothering you".

  
Truth to be said there was more than one thing that was bothering him, the fact that he couldn't sense his celestial side was one issue but he decided to avoid the matter with her for obvious reasons and the awkward feeling of them being together in that situation was... arduous.

They'd been basically forced to skip the big talk that was meant to happen to prioritize their safety but he still couldn't avoid the sensation of guilt for daring to be close to her now that she knew, now that she saw.

  
"I don't know how to say it" he said shyly

  
"Just try" she encouraged him with a warm smile.

  
"It's just that... it's strange to be here with you now after... well you know... after everything that happened... "

he dared to look at her and it was clear that she was waiting for him to keep talking

"you have to know that I... I never meant to cause you any trouble nor pain, and I would had never hurt you or your spawn. I know what you think about me and I can understand that I'm the only one responsible for my lousy reputation but... but when I met you at first I just wanted to know you better and spend time with you and while I was doing that I realized that I also wanted to protect you from both humans and celestial dangers but then C... Pierce showed up and everything went wrong and I tried to warn you but I knew that you wouldn't believed me and... and I should have shown you who I was to make you believe me but I didn't because I was afraid and eventually well... I just felt that I've failed you and as soon as Daniel told me that you were missing I came to look for you and now you're forced to be with me again and I know that you're scared of me but..."

  
"Lucifer stop!" She suddenly said and he moved his gaze to her eyes already feeling lost for what was about to come

  
"Lucifer I know how all of this has affected my life and how has all my perspective changed since that day, I will not lie saying that I was ok and that it wasn't a huge shock but... but I'm not scared of you.."

they didn't realize that while they were talking they'd moved to the street

  
"You're not?"

  
He said puzzled bending slightly his head on one side. But she was distracted by the sight of a bus coming their way and out of the blue said

  
"wait!"

  
Then she moved on the street to try to stop the bus that eventually slowed down and stopped beside her.

"Hi!" She greeted the driver with a big smile and kind voice.

  
"Hi are you in trouble Miss?"

  
"Well actually my husband and me went fishing and our car just broke along the way any chance you could give us a ride to the nearest village Sir?"

  
"As long as it's ok for my passengers I don't have any problem about that. Hey, these two people need a lift does anyone have a problem about that?" He said giving a bored look at the group that was mindlessly watching the scene.

  
Everybody looked at them and suddenly they were scrutined by quite few foreign eyes "venga guapa no hay ningun problema para nosotros" answered an old lady with a straw hat.

They smiled and entered the bus taking a seat at the rear and thanking each one they saw passing through the narrow hall in between the seats.  
Once they sat the bus started to move and Chloe released a sigh, she was exhausted by the long walk, the short sleep and starvation. She left her head genlty fall on his shoulder and whispered closing her eyes

"I'm not scared of you..."

he looked down at her astonished, his hand closed to hers slightly touching her fingers, he didn't dare to move while she locked their fingers together and remained frozen in the moment for a while till eventually he gave up and started grazing her palm with his thumb.

  
"I don't understand..." he said in surprise

  
"There are many things that I don't know right now Lucifer but one thing I'm sure of is that I'm not scared of you and that... that I've missed you"

  
He put his head on hers sighing in relief while she leaned closer until she was hugging him tight.

"I've missed you too" he said smiling.

How was this even possible he didn't know his feelings were so mixed up his head was joyfully spinning and his focus was only on the beautiful human being that was holding him like he was her lifeline, like he was just a normal man that she happened to met by chance one day. How much he wanted to be that man, he thought, he could have asked her out, they could have gone to a fancy restaurant, drinking wine, openly smiling at each other and eventually he would have brought her home and kissed her goodnight or maybe she would have invited him in and they would have spent the night together bringing pleasure to each other, laughing and making dirty jokes and sleeping in each others arms.  
  
"Hay que linda pareja!" said the lady with the straw hat interrupting his train of thoughts "tienes hambre? quieres un bocadillo?" She said handing them two ham sandwiches.

  
Lucifer looked at her smiling.  
"Thanks you're really kind" he said taking the food and giving it to Chloe.

She moved from the embrace enough to look at him in his eyes "Lucifer I told you I won't eat if you aren't eating too"

He knew how stubborn she was and understood that there was no way for him to win the fight, so he took his part and left the rest to her. They ate in silence and eventually fell asleep on each other. When the bus stopped after two hours drive they woke up with the voice of the driver saying  
"Guys I have to leave you here, there is a fair in the village and people are hosting tourists in this season just go to the fair and ask for accommodation"  
  
They thanked the man and left to reach the fair. It was early noon and the sun was still high  
"We have to find a place to stay we cannot call Dan or Ella their phone might be tapped. We have to remember that there is a police officer after this and be careful"

They agreed to stay in the place for the night she still had some cash with her, not much but enough to pay for the accomodation, it wasn't safe to use her credit card she knew that the people that were after them had enough connections to track them easily, so the plan was to keep behaving as a married couple looking for a place to stay for the night.

  
They reached the fair and started wondering around until an old man called them "hi guys would you like to try my pumpkin omelette? Is home made with the pumpkins from my garden take it!"

  
"Thanks but we're actually looking for a hotel or place to stay do you know any around?"  
She said kindly

  
"Hehehe there is no hotel in this village we don't have much tourists around usually but this week is special, during the fair we host people in our own houses, my wife and me have a spare room would you like to come and see it? It's my son's room but he is in college now, It's big enough and has a private bathroom".  
  
"Thanks Sir we really would like to have some rest It's been... a tough day for us" said Lucifer politely  
  
Suddenly the man turned and shouted "Hey Mary we have two guests for tonight  come over and show them the place!"

An old lady came out from a shop with a basket full of bread and cookies

"Hi! I'm Mary and the shouting man here is my husband Norman" said the lady smiling happily at her husband "come with me and I'll show you the place"

after introducing themselves they moved inside the shop and soon find out that the house was reachable from the back entrance of the shop or by a small alley after the main road. The house was tidy and clean and full of pictures of these people's life. The room was upstairs but Mary offered them some cookies and coffee while she prepared the bed and the towels.

As soon as they were alone Chloe looked at him smiling  
"this is not that bad isn't it?"

There was a double meaning in that sentence she was feeling strangely glad to be there right in that moment with him after all they went through and he was looking at her with tenderness unable to take his eyes of her "no It's not bad at all..."

  
"Well the looks that you exchange are so sweet it makes me think of Norman and me when we were your age" came a voice behind them interrupting their moment "and you know what? After all this time we still look at each other the same way, real love never dies and last forever"

said the lady with a sweet tone

"ehm.. Well we are glad that you allowed us to stay here Mary you have a really nice house" said Chloe trying to change to topic. She didn't notice the look on his face he was looking at the floor as someone that was caught doing something forbidden, the simple act of a tender look at her was something he believed he wasn't allowed to.  
 

"You know there is the Summer Festival in town you have to  come with us, tonight there is a big party in the main square and we're having a dance".

Lucifer frown and said politely "Actually Mary we're quite tired and besides we don't have anything to wear, so thank you but..."  the Lady abruptly cut him off

"I don't accept a no as an answer just come for a while you can rest now and I'll give you some of my son's clothes they might fit you and I should still have a dress that I used to wear when I was your age Chloe" she said looking at her, then she quickly moved them towards the room and opened an old closet to tell them where they could find something to wear and eventually left saying

"come on have some rest we'll wait for you tonight please come we feel quite lonely since my son has gone and we'd like to have you with us"

Chloe nodded with embarasment and said "ok".

As soon as they were alone that awakward silence they'd experienced the night before arose again

"I... I'll leave you to have a shower first if you want" he said

"it's ok you go ahead I'll manage to find something to wear in the meantime"

so they spent the rest of the afternoon without saying much just trying to sort out the few stuffs they had and planning to mix with the locals for the Festival. The day after they had to reach San Francisco, Mary told them before that her cousin owned a truck that was ment to leave for the city the morning after and that he was willing to give them a lift. So there was not much to do and the chance of staying alone with each other in the room for the evening was making them feeling more uncomfortable than the idea of joining Norman and Mary.

Chloe had a shower and managed to get dressed in the little bathroom while he was looking in the closet for something not too countrish looking... not an easy task he soon realized and eventually choosed a pair of jeans, sneakers and  a plaid shirt. His hair were courly for the lack of product and he defenetly seemed quite different from his usual playboy club owner  look.

  
When she opened the door and he turned to look at her he was saying

"well there's not much choice in here I'm afraid you'll have to spend the night with me looking like a country fellow from the 90's..." he was trying to make a light joke but as soon as his eyes fell on her he stopped abruptly and froze.

She was wearing a flower light pink sleeveless dress, her hair were floating in golden waves on her shoulders and  her smile was reflecting how shy and insecure she was feeling in that moment waiting for his approval

"I feel, I don't know if it's ok I've found this I though that..." she said gesturing at her dress

"you look beautiful..." he said keeping his eyes on her

"thanks" she said with a big smile. "Well you look nice too" she loved his curly hair

"oh come on you don't..."

"yes you do! Look nice I mean" she said coming closer to his personal space

"ok thanks then" he answered smiling shyly.  
  
"Let's go!" she encouraged putting her hand on his forearm and taking his arm, he shivered in silence as his fingers touched her palm and looked away to hide his reaction. Eventually they stepped outside and made their way to the streets just like a common married couple that was going out to have fun for the night.   


	8. I just want to feel your embrace - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you're uncomfortable with smut just skip to the next chapter :) thank you

They walked through the streets of the village following the sound of music with their arms still intertwined.

HE

He was giving her side glances to check if she was ok with him touching her and with their unexpected proximity. To his surprise she looked fine and even more she seemed at ease and almost... happy.

SHE

She felt light as ever all the weight of the world that she carried on her shoulder in the past year was gone and she couldn't stop smiling. He was there, he came to rescue her and it maybe meant something or at least it meant that he cared, maybe not as much as she did but still it was something and she was determined to enjoy the night and push aside just for once the fears and uncertainties.

It didn't take long to spot the dance gazebo placed in the middle of the main square decorated with colorful lights hanging from the roof. There were tables aside of the dance floor and booths that were serving burgers and fries with beer.

"Wow I'm starving"

she said with eyes sparkling like a kid at the amusement park.

> _She looks adorable_ , he thought.

"Well I guess we still have some cash to spend for a proper meal why don't you take a seat, I'll go to grab some food"

he said but before he could move a voice called them from the crowd it was Mary waiving her hand to their direction. They moved closer and she said with a big smile

"Oh I'm so glad that you came please take a seat with us"

they thanked them and Lucifer went to buy their dinner.

As soon as he came back with a plastic tray carrying food and drinks he found Chloe busy listening  to Mary and Norman lifetime story, how they met, their wedding day, the birth of their son and so on.

She was smiling politely but he sensed in the way she was looking at them a shadow of sadness and bitterness.

HE

He thought that he was the reason for her sorrow, he was responsible for making her believe that he was another person, a better one someone she could rely on and share her life with.

SHE

She thought about her marriage with Dan, their life together, the way he made her feel and nothing about that was resembling the feelings this woman in front of her was talking about.

She knew that there was only one person in her life that gave her that rushing sensation and warm feeling and it wasn't Dan but someone that slowly came closer to her more than anyone she would have allowed to and this man was now surprisingly there with her, so close but still so far away.

"Hey you're back I'm so hungry"

she said when she saw him standing beside her with their meal in his hands.

"I got you burgers and fries"

he said almost shyly, but as soon as the words were out of his mouth he froze remembering that night on his terrace when they shared the same meal and they had that moment, his mind rushed to that time when things were easier and he could still pretend to be someone else.

As if she could read his mind she just stood and came close to him and without taking her eyes of him said

"it's good that you didn't take ketchup you know I don't like it"

willfully teasing him, he felt relieved by her joke, indulging a smile he sat beside her feeling content enough just by her warm presence.

They ate happily chatting with their hosts, the night was warm and a gentle breeze was making them feel light and far away from all the problems of their real life.

"Hey Chloe would you dance with me?"

Said Norman taking her hand

"Well I'm actually not the best dancer around I'm sure that Mary would like to..."

but she could finish he took her and led her to the dance floor where people were jumping around and a light country music was playing.

She let herself been guided by Norman spinning and laughing like a kid suddenly realizing how good it was to be happy again.

HE

He was looking at her like the whole wolrd could disappear around her. She was breathtaking so beautiful with her hair moving around and her hips  swinging at the rhythm of the song.

SHE

She spotted him looking at her and moved to their table, he thought that she was going to stop and just sit instead she came close to him and said

"dance with me"

he was baffled by her request and without hesitating stood and took her hand.

They began dancing and laughing at each other their hearths light and free, they allowed themselves to live the moment and forget for once about all the rest that was waiting outside of this bubble they were happily trapped in.

Their bodies came close few times and he was drunk with her presence, her moves were bringing him shivers of desire but he didn't dare to cross the invisible line of her personal space.

Eventually the music changed in a slow rhythm and they stopped in the middle on the dance floor.

HE

He didn't know what to do, uncertain if it was too much to try to go closer and have a slow dance with her, when only the thought of their bodies pressed together made him tremble.

SHE

But she didn't hesitate and moved in his embrace putting her head on his shoulder with their cheeks pressed together. It was good that he was still breathing hard for the previous dance otherwise she would have noticed that part of that was due to her proximity.

HE

He could almost feel her breast pressed on his chest slightly rising with her breathing. Her hand was on the back of his neck slightly caressing his hair. He knew how heaven looked like and it wasn't anything close to this... this was his personal heaven and there was no God, Godess or angel that could take that away from him.

SHE

She moved slightly to look into his eyes, her face was so close to his, their lips almost touching.

How much he wanted to kiss her in that moment but he couldn't spoil this moment, despite his carnal desire he was willing to leave it like that if that was what she wanted. But really all that she wanted was him, only him and she didn't think twice when she pressed closer to him and kissed him gently on his lips.

His eyes closed, their lips moving together he was overwhelmed by love and desire, his hands trembling around her, his throat betraying him with small sounds of lust, they stopped to catch their breath and she said

"I... I think that I'm tired now, we should go back",

"yes"

he answered in a whisper.

They said good night to Norman and Mary and walked back to their place, neither of them talking and both lost in the thought of what had happened.

When they reached the house they went upstairs and she closed the door behind them.

Once they were together alone in their room lit only by the street lamps they looked at each other and she moved closer to him, he was standing stiff in front of her not knowing what to do, she put her hands on his chest slightly caressing his body through his plaid shirt, he shivered feeling his arousal rising,

"Chloe"

he breathed,

"it's ok"

she answered and pressed her body on his keeping her caress gently, he eventually put his hands on her hips starting the same treatment she was giving him and shyly moving them up and down, they were both breathing hard now, their hearths bitting fast, until he couldn't stop himself and crashed his lips on hers, both moaning loudly, their hips met and he brushed his crock on her, the sensation was unbelievable his desire out of control and by the sound she was making she was as much affected by him as he was of her.

They were crazy for each other neither of them able to stop, their caress became frantic still standing with his hands over her body moving on her back, her neck and again her hips but still avoiding to touch her more intimately, he wanted so desperately to do it but the small part of his brain that was still able to reason was keeping him to go further.

But again she wanted more and her hand moved down his belt and caressed him gently while the other kept playing on the back of his neck. He made a deep sound of pleasure, loosing that small piece of self control, the want and desire were now unbearable and he just couldn't stop anymore, his hands came to her breast

"oh Chloe"

he said in her ear and she started opening his belt still caressing him thought his jeans. He moved her to the bed and suddenly he was above her touching every inch of her body like crazy

"oh Chloe I want you so much"

he said panting and moving his hips between her legs the friction was so overwhelming and she was moving with her back arched in pleasure

"oh please"

she said with her voice trembling. He opened her dress trying to slow down his movements, he was so taken by the desire for her that he had to stop moving to avoid the moment to end before he could realize what was happening, so he opened her dress revealing her chest and moved aside her bra to slowly caress her

"you're so beautiful"

he said in a breath, then in the last shreds of clarity said

"I don't want you to do something you might regret I..."

But she put a finger on his mouth to make him stop talking and said

"I want you Lucifer, and I'm not going to regret this, there is nothing bad that can come from the way I feel about you"

and with that with his eyes wide opened in shock he was all over her, kissing and moving on her body, her neck, her face, her breast.

They kept going like that with their clothes still on till they couldn't make it anymore and began undressing each other, moaning at each touch and movements.

She managed to push his jeans away and moved herself above, he was holding her close and she opened his shirt and threw it on the floor her dress with it, her hands started to move down, her caress driving him crazy

"I... this... is... please..., please don't stop"

he was pleading her his urge above his angelic pride. When she took him in her mouth his moans got louder and his fist closed with white knuckles around the sheets, while he was panting heavily

"oh yes this is so I.. I can't..  oh... no no please come here"

he said  taking her in his arms

"I wanna look into your eyes, I wanna see you Chloe" 

he said still moving his hips on her

"come here"

she whispered holding him close enough to allow him to enter and in one smooth movement he was inside her their faces only separated by an inch of air.

Their movements began slow he was taking his time to drink on the sight of her under him but both of them were so close to the end that it didn't take long to increase the rhythm till their minds went blind and neither of them could hold it anymore their movements frantic, words, moans, pants all mixed until finally both  reached the pick of the pleasure with a loud growl.

They stayed like that for a while embraced together trying to catch their breath. Then he moved and took her in his arms. He held her close placing  small kisses on her forehead until he looked at her and, with a newfound uncertainty, asked

"are you ok?", 

she smiled warmly caressing his cheek and said

"I've never been better".


	9. Nothing comes easily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is beta read by TBLucifan that I can't thank enough for the precious help. I didn't watch the new season yet (and I'm dying to...) so this is going to be 100% OC but is how it came to me while I waited for S4, I hope you'll like it. :) the next chapter is ready and it'll be the last. Thanks for reading

As the first light filtered through the shades, he slowly woke up feeling warm and serene. He had had the first restful night since the day that Cain died by his hand.

He opened his eyes feeling unsure of where he was till the memory of the previous night came back to him.  
The first thing he saw was her gentle face peacefully sleeping next to him.  
  
As soon as the relief of seeing her hit him he got lost into a sea of "what ifs" - wondering if once awake she would regret their night together or if she would simply act as if nothing had happened or as if it wasn't a big deal. He could feel the fear slowly creeping its way into his heart and the beginning of something like a celestial panic attack. Just when he was almost giving up and seriously pondering if it was safer to run for the hills and never look back, she made a small noise in her throat.  
"hhmmm."  
And then she opened her eyes and look straight into his. Even still fuzzy with sleep, she knew he was panicking. The old Chloe would have brought back her usual walls and acted normal  to avoid showing him how much she wanted this to be real and how brokenhearted she would have been if this wasn't mutual. But she decided that it was now or never and there was no reason to hesitate, she was not a one night stand woman and she knew that he felt something last night or at least that's what she hoped.  
Unsure of how best to behave the morning after you'd slept with the Devil for whom you definitely have deep feelings, she went for a spontaneous reaction and without thinking twice she smiled in the sweetest way she could and looked at him as if he was her personal brightest star.

"Hey..." She said while his face slightly relaxed under the effect of her love and caring smile.

"H-Hi" He answered, still unsecure of what was about to come.

Still following the spontanety path she moved closer and gently kissed him on his lips while her hand softly touched his cheek. She felt him relax under her touch and respond to her kiss the same way he did the night before. Then she moved away and said all in one breath

"Are you.. are you ok with what happened last night?"

His eyes opened in shock both from the kiss and her question. Was she really questioning his being happy with what was the most amazing moment he had in all his entire existance? No one had ever made him feel the way he felt with her, he didn't understand it but he could feel her love and care, and every whisper or move she made had been like the sweetest music he'd ever heard.

"I... I.." but before he continued she cut him off.

"I know that you are... Well and I am... And that you'd probably seen so many things that I couldn't even imagine in my lifetime, but... I mean… you've been with the most beautiful women in the world... and I'm just.."

Suddenly he silenced her with a kiss mixed with love, passion, want and care. He took his time exploring her mouth with his eyes closed and his head slightly bent to one side. When they moved away from each other they were both breathless.  
"I'm not the best on talking about feelings but I can tell you for sure that I've never felt this way before and there is no woman in all the years of my life in Heaven, Hell or Earth that can remotely compete with you.." Then he hesitated for a second and said "Is... is this a good answer Detective? Do you understand what I’m trying to say?" He was so not used to dealing with emotions that he sounded naive as a child.  
She smiled and pulled him closer.  
  
“I do,” She said before moving to kiss him. But before their lips touched she stopped. "Maybe it's time for you to start calling me Chloe"  
  
"Ok," he said, "Chloe,”  and  smiled just like someone that had been allowed to do something that previously was forbidden.

The kiss and their proximity brought back to both of them the memory of the night before, but even if it was clear what they wanted to do right in that moment, it was time for them to move. Chloe as usual was the responsible adult and moved away enough the rest her forehead on his.

"As much as I would like to stay here and never leave and take this kiss to the next level I know that we have to start moving and get the ride that Mary arranged for us to San Francisco."

He sighed still with a content grin. 

"You are right, we have to move and try to sort out how to reach LA without making us more of a target".

Right then Mary called them from downstairs that breakfast was ready and their ride was almost there. They ate and said farewell to Mary and Norman, grateful of the time spent together for many more reasons than their hosts could ever imagine.

Straight away they were sitting on the floor in the back of the truck. John, Mary's cousin, was a tall young guy, much more quiet and less chatty than Mary but still kind enough to make room for them between the delivery boxes, and to set up an old long cushion as a makeshift seat. They sat side by side, their shoulders and legs touching in a pleasant way. Chloe rested her head on his shoulder and he drew an invisible line on her arm while his other hand was busy caressing the palm of her hand with his thumb. They sat like that for a while till she moved slightly away and asked him,

"Lucifer yesterday in the forest you said... You said you couldn't feel... " She was struggling with words -the physical implications of his real identity was still something she was having trouble saying out loud.

"I couldn't and still can't feel my wings" he finished for her.

"But how is this possible? Can they just go away like that? Or did something happened to you?"

He sighed and looked down. He didn't want to give her too many details of Hell since he was still afraid that she would come to her senses and run away, realizing how foolish she was for still wanting him by her side after knowing his true self. But there was no way he could avoid the topic given that they were going to stay in that truck for a while.  
"In Hell there is a river called Styx that forms the boundary between Earth and the underworld. In its waters grows a special kind of seaweed that Demons use to disable the powers of celestial beings that try to fight them. They make a kind of venom with its roots that once injected into an Angel makes them unable to use their powers for a while. I... I guess that our chasers are linked to some supernatural leader but I still cannot figure out who could it be and what is the purpose of this."

Chloe was speechless. How could her police investigation have turned into an Angels and demons issue?

"I don't understand, I was sent to that place with the specific purpose of leaving the new lieutenant in the dark since he could have been involved in corruption and you weren't supposed to be there at all. I should have gone home after a few days if they'd allowed me to".

"Yeah, but they didn't," he said. "I guess they knew that keeping you there would have made me come to look for you".

"So you're saying that it was all a set up?"

"I don't know. I cannot imagine who might want to make me harmless and with what intention. Maybe my father or one of my siblings? I really don't know but given who I am, I have plenty of choice of enemies."

He was still talking when he realized that Chloe was looking into the void with a lost look.   
He froze, fearing that what he was most scared of had just happened,  here in the back of a closed truck where she couldn't even run away. The idea of losing her hit him as if he was falling high speed from his penthouse terrace right to the street below.... He was losing her.... But then she spoke softly in a whisper.

"It's all my fault," she said.

"What?" He answered, abruptly coming back from the world he'd quickly and easily imagined where Chloe hated him and he was the monster everyone thought he was.

"What are you talking about? How could this be your fault?"

"If you hadn't come to look for me, you would be safe at home and not stuck in the back of a truck with me. I've put you in danger and lead you right into a trap."

He took her hands in his. 

"Chloe, please, this is not your fault. I chose to come to look for you and I would do it over and over again. Please don't feel guilty. For what it's worth, if I hadn't come to find you, we wouldn't have had the night we had yesterday and I would still be sitting at Lux drinking my self into trying (and failing) to forget you.".

"What?"

But there was no answer to her question as suddenly they heard the screech of brakes and the truck stopped. There were voices outside - one was John’s asking someone if they needed help and then the noise of two gunshots silenced him. Chloe and Lucifer didn't have time to be afraid as the doors of the truck opened revealing the guy with the husky voice looking at them with a victory smile.

"Haaa here you are! Our two lovebirds! Nice place for a honeymoon isn't it?" More men crowded around the truck. 

"What do you want from us?" Chloe put herself in front of Lucifer to keep him safe from them.

"nothing you should worry about - we're just going to have some fun!" the man said. Suddenly a small dart from outside hit Lucifer on the side of his neck.

"C..Chloe I'm...."

"Noooo!” she screamed. The last sight he saw was her face full of fear and concern as he lost his senses and fell unconscious.

 


End file.
